Torturing Me
by fightforAllTheWrongReasons
Summary: He was torturing me, with everything he said, everything he did. I had the opportunity to leave. I could have been happy. Safe. But I stayed. B/J AU.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey everyone, this is my second story on here, and I'm excited to share it with you all. Feel free to give me any criticism that you see fit. This fic is inspired by a banner that I saw from _Aly130 _go check out her stories here, they're awesome. You can find the banner on my wordpress. .com. While your there, you can check out other ways to get in touch with me. I like talking to people. Without further ado, away we go...**

**Important Info: This story is in all Bella POV, is a Bella/Jasper, and there will be very minimal dialogue. Mostly everything will be based on observations, body language, which I will describe as well as I can. That's just how I pictured this story, minimal dialogue. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or any publically recognizable content. I just use it for my amusement.**

**Torturing Me**

_**Prologue**_

**Bella POV**

He was torturing me. With everything he said, with everything he did. I had the opportunity to leave. I could have been happy. Safe. But I stayed. I don't know why I stayed, or how I managed it, but I did. Jasper and I were always like this, fighting back and forth silently. He would ignore me, I would ignore him. He would give me one word answers, I would do the same. He would cheat, I would cheat. It's how we were. No one really understood it. Hell, I didn't understand it. Edward would have been a much better choice. A more stable choice. A safer choice. I remind Jasper of that every chance I get, just as he reminds me.

I once thought, when we first started dating, that this was the only way to live. That _all _couples were like this. But then, I saw Emmett and Rose, Carlisle and Esme, and I accepted that we weren't all that normal. For one, I was a human, and he was a vampire. Then, we went to visit Peter and Charlotte, and I could no longer explain why I stayed and put up with what I did. Peter had the same early life as Jasper, as did Charlotte, and neither of them acted like Jasper or I. When we fought, it was almost savage. There were times, in the beginning, I feared for my life, and I know he played off of that, enhanced it even. It was a high for him, he got off on it. Knowing he instilled such fear into his human girlfriend, but that she still loved him, wanted him.

The family had to intervene, once. Sometimes, I think Jasper let them intervene. We were yelling, about something stupid, arguing over a bedspread I think, and it got so heated, and became about everything _but _the damn bedspread that he was in my face, eyes black as night, spewing venom with his words. He had me pinned to the wall, and as I tried futiley to push him away, noticed his eyes going to my jugular. He was pumping tons of fear into me, and I didn't know where mine stopped and his ended. All I knew was that my arms were going numb, I could barely see anything anymore, and I was welcoming the death he was surely to deliver me. Emmett and Carlisle rushed into the room just as he was getting ready to bite me. It took all of their combined strength to pull him off of me, and even then, they had to bring him outside to hunt.

Things got better after that, he was kind, tender, never raised his voice. For a while. Then he got bored, I got bored. We needed something to fill our time when the family was around. And we started fighting again. Now it was more about Edward, and how he was better for me, and _why didn't I just choose Edward? _Jasper would ask me, pain in his eyes and voice, all of his emotions for me projecting into the room. I knew Jasper felt guilty over what had happened, but he would never admit that, to me or himself. To admit that would be to admit that he was weak, and Jasper Hale, no,_ Whitlock_, was anything but weak. He begged with me, pleaded with me, tried to bribe me into breaking up with him and giving Edward a chance. _No,_ I'd tell him, shaking my head back and forth furiously, _I can't do that, can't leave you. _

So, he made the choice for me. He left. He ran south, to Peter and Charlotte. He ran where he knew, where he thought, I wouldn't follow him. But he was wrong, I would follow him anywhere, to Maria to be sacrificed, to the Volturi to be killed, to hell to burn alone, and I would follow him to Peter and Charlotte's house, I would follow him home.

**A/N: What do we think? Let me know please? Could I maybe get five reviews? Xoxo**


	2. Chapter One

**A/N: Hey everyone, long time no write. I haven't had a well working computer for quite a while, so I just didn't write. But, I'm back now, and hopefully you all still like this story. Feel free to give me any criticism that you see fit. This fic is inspired by a banner that I saw from**_**Aly130**___**go check out her stories here, they're awesome. You can find the banner on my wordpress: .com. While you're there, you can check out other ways to get in touch with me. I like talking to people. Without further ado, away we go...**

**Important Info: This story is in all Bella POV is a Bella/Jasper, and there will be very minimal dialogue. Mostly everything will be based on observations, body language, which I will describe as well as I can. That's just how I pictured this story, minimal dialogue. Please be advised that this story will contain themes of mental and emotional abuse, as well as hints to physical abuse. For that reason, this story is rated M. If you are under the age of 18, or these themes bother you, please click the little "x" button, or find a different story to read. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or any publically recognizable content. I just use it for my amusement.**

**Torturing Me**

_**Recap: **__So, he made the choice for me. He left. He ran south, to Peter and Charlotte. He ran where he knew, where he thought, I wouldn't follow him. But he was wrong, I would follow him anywhere, to Maria to be sacrificed, to the Volturi to be killed, to hell to burn alone, and I would follow him to Peter and Charlotte's house, I would follow him home._

**Bella POV:**

The ride to Peter and Charlotte's home in Savannah was one of the most nerve-wrecking of my life. Not knowing what was going through Jasper's head, and if he was even safe was driving me insane. Sometimes, I can't believe that I choose to live the way I do. There has to be a better life for me, without vampires. As soon as my taxi stopped in front of Peter and Charlotte's house, I jumped out and went to grab my bags, but Peter was already there, stopping me. "Don't worry, I got these. Go see Jasper." I nodded, hugging him tightly.

I ran into the house, taking it in. It hadn't changed since the last time I was there, but somehow it seemed bigger, colder. I knew it was Jasper projecting his emotions, and I walked into the kitchen, looking in the first place I thought he would be. Every time he ran off somewhere, he would start cooking to deal with all his conflicting emotions. I rolled my eyes, thinking about the way he reacted to his emotions. He could always handle everybody's emotions except for his own. I looked around the kitchen and saw it empty, much to my shock.

"He's not in here Bella, he's in the carriage house. He knew you'd look here first." I turned and saw Charlotte standing in the doorway, a worried expression on her face.

"Did he…ya know?" I asked, hesitantly, already knowing the answer, but looking for the confirmation I feared.

"Yeah, he did. Just one, but he feels awful about it. He's been projecting since he got here. It's driving Peter and I crazy. Please, go talk to him?" Charlotte hugged me tightly, and I could hear the pleading and desperation in her voice. No one liked Jasper when he got like this, especially Charlotte. She felt that she owed him so much for letting Peter take her and escape her death.

**&&&###&&&###&&&###**

I walked into the carriage house hesitantly and heard him growl. It was a low, guttural sound. I was scared, and he knew it. I hated it whenever this happened. He felt so guilty, but somehow reminded me it was _entirely my _fault because I was a human, and I chose to love him, and chose to let him love me.

I tried to quiet my breathing, slow my beating heart. I wanted to give him as little to play off of as possible. Looking around, I saw him perched in the beams of the carriage house. I smiled at him hesitantly, and he jumped down, nearly knocking me over. He kept his gaze averted from mine, and I knew what he was thinking, _why isn't she disgusted with me? Why doesn't she hate me? It could have been her. _I pushed away my fear as much as I could, and forced all my love and devotion for him forward, letting it shower him. He looked at me slowly, and I saw the pain and anguish in his eyes. He felt _awful _for what he had done. Running my fingers through his hair, and hugging him tightly, I silently promised him what I did every time this happened; _I won't leave you Jasper. I could never hate you. I accept you for who you are_.

I don't know how long we stood there. Long enough that my legs started to hurt and I had to sit down. Then, we sat for a while. Just Jasper and I, just staring at each other. Slowly, I let him feel how I felt over him leaving. _Pain, abandonment, hurt, fear, desperation, emptiness, determination. _He looked up at me at the last emotion, curiosity in his eyes. "I was determined to get you to come back to me, to come home," I whispered, blushing and looking down.

"Isabella, this is my home. Not there, not in Forks with _them _to remind me that I'm a screw-up," his voice was hoarse, rough.

"Where does that leave us then Jasper? My home is with you, but I can't abandon everyone. I owe Charlie a goodbye, Jacob an explanation of where I'm going, and the Cullen's deserve to know _why _I'm leaving." I looked at him with tears in my eyes, and he pulled me into his lap. "Jasper, if I leave, if I stay with you, we have to change. Things can't be like they always have been. You know that right?"

I felt him nod against my head, "I know Isabella, I promise. Thank you, for coming to get me. Not very many people would care."

I sighed and shook my head at him. He had such a poor perception of himself sometimes. I just smiled gently and kissed his cheek before pulling back and gently running finger tips across the bags under his eyes, lessened by his recent feeding on a human. The muddy brown eyes scared me and enticed me at the same time. Would I always be safe _from _him? No. Would I always be safe _with _him? Yes.

**A/N: I know it's super short, but I just couldn't think of anything else to write at this point. I kind of think that this would be a good place to end the story, I never intended for it to be very long. Please let me know in your reviews what you think. The songs I listened to during this chapter were: **_**Falling In **_**by Lifehouse and **_**Time After Time**_** the Quietdrive version. Hopefully, **_**Bed of Lies **_**will get updated next. Xoxo**


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